I receive many emails from people in the UK, most of them are quite straightforward questions, others are about utterly bizarre stuff, but nevertheless, we normally have fun figuring out the answers together. But sometimes I can sense an underlying depth of desperation in the midst of an email, it could be about a relocation question, or it could be on a more personal level.
It’s only when I recognise this, that the feelings I had when I first arrived come up to surface.You may well be living in the most beautiful country in the world (according to me) but when you are experiencing it without your best chums around, it can become a bit flat.
Finding friends is as easy here as it is anywhere, in fact it’s probably much, much easier here than in most countries. Aussies are walkabout folks, so to find one that was born and brought up in one area, isn’t as common as it is in the UK. One of the first questions they ask each other on a first meeting is ‘So, where ya from?’…. so really they could be as alien to an area as you.
So if you were worried you may feel ‘all alone’ let that be reassurance. It’s great to know that there are hundreds of other people, doing exactly what you are doing and feeling how you feel.
Just be aware of making Panic Friends…..
Hit it!
What is a panic friend I hear you cry? Well, there will be occasions when you meet new people, have a chat, have loads to talk about and arrange to meet up again and swap numbers. It’s only after inviting them round that you realise you actually have nothing in common with them, apart from that your Auntie lived in the same area as them in Weston-Super-Mare for 7 months in the early ’80’s. Not a good premise for a relationship if that’s all you can talk about.
So before rushing in with mobile phone open to ‘add contact’… take your time, suss people out and then you will undoubtedly meet true, honest to goodness lifetime friends.
This is wonderful, wise words. I work with the expat population of young kids and I wish their parents would ‘let them’ not rush in to friendships.
It seems often parents are so eager for the child to have a new friend in the new location that they push their child into a relationship that has about as much in common as the Auntie in your story. Often the children who don’t have great friends are the first to reach out to new kids because they have already used up the friendships and are eager to find someone new to connect to, unfortunately if your child makes this connection to quickly they might have attached themselves to the class clown or the playground bully. Then they are guilty by association and not too many of the other kids will want to play with them.
I agree – all ages need to take your time and suss people out in order to make good friendship choices.