… So I signed up for a focus group.

I’ve never really looked into focus groups before, so I had no idea what to expect when I turned up at Channel 7 last week – dressed in full ‘wow-factor’ regalia (make-up/hair done to meticulous standards) in the hope that one of their presenters had explosive diarrhea and an immediate replacement would have to be found.

But – as usual – this wasn’t to be the case.

I met with the other members of the focus group in a lobby, and it was clear that they were my elders by 35-40 years… and – to be totally blunt – probably not the most well kept individuals either.

We were summoned through to a conference room – so we slowly shuffled along in single file behind a Salvation Army regular with her Zimmer frame. I was thankful that she had this, as I was dangerously close to her and  it acted as a barrier from me and her Weetbix stained pullover.

Half an hour into the discussion, a platter arrived with tiny delicate sandwiches wedged tightly together  – and by this time, I was starting  to feel peckish.

Obviously the hardened focus group regulars where ready for this delight and started tucking in immediately.

As the platter edged ever nearer to me, I was horrified to see a hand dive in for the second time – now it wasn’t so much the greed that made me gasp… but rather the fact that this chap had just cleared his back teeth with his index finger, and was fondling the sandwiches with this freshly-wetted finger – complete with excess chewed white bread on his knuckle.

Needless to say I waved the tray on when it got to me.

The rest of the hour passed quickly, and although I made a few comments on relevant topics, for the majority of the time, I really didn’t have a clue what anyone was talking about. Something about AFL…?  Are the commercials breaks too long…? Should we have a special programme about local sport at the weekend..?

All these programmes are the sort that I fast-forward through on time-shift with my recordable DVD player – an item that none of the group had never heard of – but perhaps now will go and buy in the EOFYS?

Oh well, I came out of there $30 richer – yet starving…..

Have a great week.x.

Weird but wonderful

Now you might think I’m going slightly mad, ‘why on earth is she posting a blog on custard apples?’

Well…

When I first arrived in Oz, I hurridly wanted to go out and taste new Aussie foods… as I love trying new and odd stuff, even if it is only once… (Witchetty grubs…. never again….shiver)

So obviously the sound of a ‘custard apple’ was very appealing…. ‘oooh, an apple – that tastes of custard?’ Very Willy Wonker.

But, once I had cut it open and stuck my spoon into it’s flesh, I soon decided that it wasn’t the delight I was expecting – it had an odd texture, that unfortunately made me wretch, somewhat.

I forgot about the poor little custard apple episode, and carried on with life in Oz, without it in my staple diet. Until the other day, when I ran into a wonderful organic foodstore and saw they were once again in season… still tempted by the name, I decided to give them another go.

Now here’s the thing… I did exactly the same as last time, cut it open, stuck in my spoon – only to my amazement it tasted utterly devine. How was that so? Was it that the last one was not ripe? Was it off? Or was it just that my palate had now changed to accommodate these new oddments?

No, it was only when I think back, that I remember I had been pregnant…. and as I tend to suffer with morning sickness, to the point that even breathing in the ‘wrong type of air’ would make me gag, it was little wonder that I couldn’t tolerate a custard apple.

So, now they are in season (March to July) I am going to make sure I make up for the last three years…. I may even bake a pie…  how very mid-west.

One more thing  –  I know they arn’t a native Australian fruit, but they do thrive in sub-tropical climates – so although we may get the odd cylcone, we can also grow our own custard apples!

And believe me, it’s better than snacking on witchetty grubs.

Is it just me - or is this just too weird..?

So, after enjoying a half-strength soy latte and a huge chocolate muffin (couldn’t decide to be healthy or not today) I said goodbye to my friends and headed off to the car park….

….I didn’t expect to trip over a super-long, hairy worm on the way….

On further inspection, it turned out to be about 300 caterpillars!

OK, maybe not 300, but it was a lot… and it was really creepy. It even made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and I shuddered slightly.

It wasn’t long before I had enticed a few other people over to prod the hairy little wrigglers… and of course, find out what the hell they were.

“Processionary Caterpillars” - apparently, so I was told –  and as the name suggests they follow each other from nose to tail in a line while they move along in a procession to find Wattle trees, etc to devour.  They can also cause skin irritations to humans – not that I had any inclination to pat them… not everything hairy is cute.

So there you go, what a phenomenon – not something I was expecting to blog about today.. tune in next week to find out how to eat them…

… Yuk, I’m kidding.

I receive many emails from people in the UK, most of them are quite straightforward questions, others are about utterly bizarre stuff, but nevertheless, we normally have fun figuring out the answers together.  But  sometimes I can sense an underlying depth of desperation in the midst of an email, it could be about a relocation question, or it could be on a more personal level.

It’s only when I recognise this, that the feelings I had when I first arrived come up to surface.You may well be living in the most beautiful country in the world (according to me) but when you are experiencing it without your best chums around, it can become a bit flat.

Finding friends is as easy here as it is anywhere, in fact it’s probably much, much easier here than in most countries. Aussies are walkabout folks, so to find one that was born and brought up in one area, isn’t as common as it is in the UK. One of the first questions they ask each other on a first meeting is ‘So, where ya from?’…. so really they could be as alien to an area as you.

So if you were worried you may feel ‘all alone’ let that be reassurance. It’s great to know that there are hundreds of other people, doing exactly what you are doing and feeling how you feel.

Just be aware of making Panic Friends…..

Hit it!

What is a panic friend I hear you cry?  Well, there will be occasions when you meet new people, have a chat, have loads to talk about and arrange to meet up again and swap numbers.  It’s only after inviting them round that you realise you actually have nothing in common with them, apart from that your Auntie lived in the same area as them in Weston-Super-Mare for 7 months in the early ’80′s. Not a good premise for a relationship if that’s all you can talk about.

So before rushing in with mobile phone open to ‘add contact’… take your time, suss people out and then you will undoubtedly meet true, honest to goodness lifetime friends.

'Flying the Flag'

We all had a great day floating about on giant inflatable thongs, watching the fellas lollop about playing beach cricket and breathing in the smell of cooked meat and onions as Jamie Oliver-wannabes sizzled not only sausages but their shoulders in the beating sun.

'A washed up thong'

Yes, Australia is certainly a country that loves to celebrate – and many parents will have even more reason to celebrate tomorrow, as the countries schools re-open their doors to a new school year.

I have to say, I’m not one of those parents… I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the last 6 weeks with my three pals. It’s been a never-ending cycle of snorkeling, bike riding, swimming, boating (round Richard Branson’s island!), beaches, ice-skating (I know!) movie-going and generally larking about.

I suppose I should have taken the kids with me really…?

We’ve had a great summer but now the work really begins – with all three kids at different schools with different start times, and different tastes in lunchbox menus… I’m already looking forward to the next holidays.

I hope wherever you are, you get over to Australia to celebrate – and not just on Australia Day, but everyday in a life Down Under…

Have a great week. x.

Yep, we certainly did rejoice!

As of last week, our family became Australian Citizens…. and what a fantastic day it was.

We were lucky enough to have slipped into the last ceremony of 2009, which also happens to be the year that Queensland clocked up it’s 150th birthday – a double excuse for a celebration.

The ceremony was quite an occasion, with close to 300 people becoming citizens together, including 2 of my very dearest friends, all pledging our Oath to the Australian way of life.

Gina, Vicky and Sam - new Aussies!

Once the formalities and the official presentation of the certificates, flags and small native plants (?) were given, we were invited to gorge on a rather lavish morning tea (complete with Anzac biscuits and lamingtons) under the shade of the swaying palm trees.

Then, when we had exhausted the nibblies and forced the Deputy Mayor into posing for/taking photos of us – we decided to do the respectful Aussie thing – so we headed down to the beach for a barbie.

Deputy Mayor Cr Tim Dyer... and me.

It was a wonderful afternoon, only slightly marred by my friend’s 4 year old daughter who came screaming out of the sea with an enormous Blue bottle jelly fish wrapped painfully around her leg – but in true Aussie fashion, she soldiered on after the initial shock and shaking fits had worn off. Then we all enjoyed an afternoon of sausages, kebabs and prawns the size of a size 5 thong.

I have to say I feel mighty proud to be a semi-true-blue Aussie…. in a very English way.

…”In history’s page let every stage – Advance Australia Fair”

For more information on Australian Citizenship, check out

http://www.citizenship.gov.au/ 

Merry Christmas to you all – hope to see you over here soon.

x

…. but obviously I’m not.

However, I have just been talking to someone who is very knowledgeable about that sort of thing, and I felt it was of utmost importance to deliver the information to you!

I have just this minute come back from watching my 12 year old son battle with the surf whilst he was on one of his weekly school ‘surf skills’ lessons at one of our local beaches.

Imagine that? Surf Skills -I mean, when I was 12 we were lucky if we got a trip to the community swimming baths. I still shudder to think what lived in that luke-warm footbath we all had to trudge through before we entered the pool, and there were always toddlers splashing about in it ’cause it was warmer than the pool itself …. heeeave.

But anyway, back to the pristine beach today – I was asking one of the lifesavers about ‘rips’ (something I always hear about – but never really know what it means) and he told me that a rip is a current of immensely strong water that washes back into the ocean after the waves have crashed onto the sand.

Apparently the current is so strong, that not even an Olympic swimmer would be able to swim against it, never mind my feeble body.

So in true ‘top tip’ fashion, here is a basic outline of what to look out for and what to do if you get caught in a rip.

• Check the waves on the beach, a rip has noticeably calmer water, with just slightly bumpy water and no crashing waves. (almost as if to entice you to swim there?)
• The area will also be darker blue in colour, as it is deeper there.
• Obviously make sure you swim between the red and yellow flags, but if you do find yourself in a rip – just put one arm straight up and wait for rescue.
• If you are caught in a rip and you are in an area without lifesavers (regretting it now aren’t you!) then swim away (either side) of the rip – not towards the beach.

“We’re always pulling Poms out of the ocean” said the surf lifesaver to me today – how embarrassing I thought, as I faked a terrible Aussie accent.

Have a safe week. x

Call me old fashioned, but why on earth would they feel the need to add cheese anyway?

Mind you, I have to say it seems to be quite the thing here – to add cheese to perfectly acceptable products. Take the humble can of Heinz spaghetti for instance…

Ingredients: Spaghetti (55%) (water, wheat flour), tomato sauce (45%) (tomatoes, sugar, salt, cheese, spice extract, natural flavour)

Did you spot it?.. Well, it doesn’t stop there, also sitting on the shelf is a ‘spaghetti with cheese’; a ‘spaghetti with extra cheese’ and of course the ‘spaghetti with added calcium’… which is actually even more cheese. Soon they will be selling cheese with added spaghetti… I can feel my celulite molecules puckering up.

So I think I’m going to stick with my original Vegemite, and if I decide I want to add cheese, I will damn well do it myself… I’m not that lazy – yet.

But I will just spare a thought to the poor guys at Kraft, how awful for them to have such massive media attention – just what a huge corporation who were trying to market a new product didn’t need, hey?

Have a great week x

The dust storm started in Central Australia, where strong winds whipped up – then carried on towards the Eastern side of Oz, taking with it clouds of choking dust. Luckily by the time it reached us, it was only a tame encounter (compared to it’s first stop down there in Sydney) But the dust storm that ventured up to the Sunshine Coast was a pretty weird episode.

The normally perfect blue sky suddenly transformed into an eye-rubbing mist of beige. The bright orange sun, once hidden by the thick clouds of dust was turned into a dulled light of greyish-blue… in fact it almost looked like moonlight, which was totally confusing.

But once again, while people ran for their homes to batten down the hatches, I raced outside to capture some amazing photographs – to show all my loyal readers what a dust storm is really like – all in the name of blogging! (now that’s dedication – or lunacy!)

So sit back, with your sparklingly clear lungs – and enjoy the photos, of …

 ‘the day the sky turned sepia’

Then, a few months later I got a cheque in the post from Queensland transport – reimbursement for the test(s) that I took, as I never actually had to take the damn test in the first place – just simply change my UK license to an Aussie one within 3 months.

Anyway, as I would like to keep ahead of the game… I have found out some new info about some changes to the rules on Queensland’s ‘fry-an-egg-on-the-tarmac’ roads.

The changes to the Queensland Road Rules will come into effect from 12 October 2009.

Key changes include:

• fog lights — turn off fog lights in clear weather. If you drive with fog lights on in clear weather you risk being fined A$40
• single centre line — don’t U-turn. If you do a U-turn over a single continuous centre line you risk being fined A$180 and three demerit points
• seatbelts — all passengers must wear them. If you drive with a passenger of any age without a seatbelt or child restraint you risk being fined A$300 and three demerit points
• wheeled recreational devices — if you ride one when and where they are not permitted you risk being fined A$40.

For more information on the new road rules….

http://www.transport.qld.gov.au/Home/General_information/Rules_and_regulations/Road/

These changes are being made to ensure they align with the Australian Road Rules, good on ‘em – how thoroughly modern…

Now if only they would align Queensland with the rest of Australia and join in with the daylight savings routine… but of course, we wouldn’t want to confuse the cows… would we?

D'ya come here often?