I was shocked today, to see a cyclist riding along the road with cable ties on her helmet…

I wasn’t shocked to see the cable ties – more shocked that a whole year has flown by since the last Magpie Season.

I know they are only trying to protect their young, but as soon as it nears the end of August, these birds seem to have demonic possession – it seems they don’t really want to just frighten you away, they are more interested in taking out an eye or removing a small chunk of ear.

I can’t say I’m really a fan of magpies anyway, but during the months of August to November this little black and white feathered creature transforms from its status of being a slightly aggravating bird – to a savage suicide-bomber.

Of course it does have a good reason, after all it is nesting season, so she is only doing what any female suffering postnatal depression in a hot feathered suit would do.
In past years I have regularly witnessed this same sight at the same time of year…

The local postman veering his motorbike all over a busy road, usually waving one arm frantically above his head in an effort to stop the bird from persistently clacking its bill on his helmet – and not just once or twice, the bird usually takes it personally and actually wants the man dead…

But it does make me burst into knicker-wetting laughter as an onlooker, and it does probably traumatise the poor postie – who must be miles away by the time the damn thing stops attacking.

So just remember to watch out at magpie season – change your walking and cycling routes to avoid areas where they might be nesting or if all else fails, take a helmet/shield/suit of armour/oozie 9mm with you in your bag.