The Sweet Smell of Denture-Fix…

So winter is here… and while the book sales continue to steadily plod along, my evening Zumba classes are starting to take a dive in numbers… so while the chilly season is upon us and people are reluctant to leave their cosy homes – I thought I should supplement my income in other ways…

… So I signed up for a focus group.

I’ve never really looked into focus groups before, so I had no idea what to expect when I turned up at Channel 7 last week – dressed in full ‘wow-factor’ regalia (make-up/hair done to meticulous standards) in the hope that one of their presenters had explosive diarrhea and an immediate replacement would have to be found.

But – as usual – this wasn’t to be the case.

I met with the other members of the focus group in a lobby, and it was clear that they were my elders by 35-40 years… and – to be totally blunt – probably not the most well kept individuals either.

We were summoned through to a conference room – so we slowly shuffled along in single file behind a Salvation Army regular with her Zimmer frame. I was thankful that she had this, as I was dangerously close to her and  it acted as a barrier from me and her Weetbix stained pullover.

Half an hour into the discussion, a platter arrived with tiny delicate sandwiches wedged tightly together  – and by this time, I was starting  to feel peckish.

Obviously the hardened focus group regulars where ready for this delight and started tucking in immediately.

As the platter edged ever nearer to me, I was horrified to see a hand dive in for the second time – now it wasn’t so much the greed that made me gasp… but rather the fact that this chap had just cleared his back teeth with his index finger, and was fondling the sandwiches with this freshly-wetted finger – complete with excess chewed white bread on his knuckle.

Needless to say I waved the tray on when it got to me.

The rest of the hour passed quickly, and although I made a few comments on relevant topics, for the majority of the time, I really didn’t have a clue what anyone was talking about. Something about AFL…?  Are the commercials breaks too long…? Should we have a special programme about local sport at the weekend..?

All these programmes are the sort that I fast-forward through on time-shift with my recordable DVD player – an item that none of the group had never heard of – but perhaps now will go and buy in the EOFYS?

Oh well, I came out of there $30 richer – yet starving…..

Have a great week.x.


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